“Save Some” for Your Relationship

For all the things we do as couples, whether it’s a date night, sharing our hearts, or intimate time, it’s imperative to “save some” for our relationships.   If we don’t, it’s so easy to start down a slippery slope of bitterness and resentment when love needs aren’t met.

When it’s time to connect as a couple, my husband and I haven’t always been in sync with our time, desire and energy levels.  We have polar opposite biological clocks; I am a morning person and he’s a night person.  When I want to talk to him first thing in the morning, he’s not the slightest bit interested.   When he wants to work on business stuff with me late at night, I’m not feeling it.  We have also struggled with trying to watch a movie together because I often fall asleep thirty minutes into the movie and begin waking up as the credits are rolling.  Let’s just say, that doesn’t make for a good date night!

So some things I’ve learned to do to strengthen our couple time:

1.       Be intentional.  I’ve had to make a conscious decision to make my relationship a priority and protect it at all costs.  Therefore, being intentional to me begins first with having the right mindset and communicate to my husband daily that our relationship is a priority to me.

 2.        Set aside the time.  With our hectic schedules, it’s nice to know that we have set aside time throughout the day and week where we can connect again as a couple.  We protect those times reserved only for us. 

3.       Get help.  We love our kids and they need our time, attention, and energy.  However, if not kept in balance, they can also be real energy zappers.  Therefore, we get help with childcare where needed and take advantage of quiet times when they are asleep (yes and amen!).  We also have careers and commitments, so delegating to others where possible, leaves more time and energy for us too.

 4.       Be proactive.  In my case, that sometimes means taking a nap so that I’m awake and have energy to enjoy time with my husband (and not fall asleep on him!).   It also means anticipating what is needed so we have a plan in place to connect. 

 It’s not always easy to save your time, energy, and desire for your relationship, especially with demanding schedules and commitments.  However, with the right mindset, determination and planning, it can be achieved. 

So how do you “save some” in your relationship?